Conviction

Happy Wednesday Folks!! 

It's almost 1 pm, and I haven't really found anything "Happy" about it yet - but I'm still plugging along trying to make the best of it!!! 

The topic on my mind today is "Conviction".  What is Conviction?  The definition is "a firmly held belief or decision.  Why this topic?  I started attending a new church last Sunday. I was so thrilled after I left church...it was quite possibly the most warming and welcoming experience I have ever had.  The second person that I met when I walked in the door of the church was the Pastor...he greeted my son and I both with a hearty hug and a huge southern style welcome.  I must say that I am further impressed, as I received a personal phone call from him yesterday, thanking us for attending, and inviting us to the concert at church this evening (which incidently - we will be attending).  Couldn't be any happier with regards to the church.  After we filled out a "connect" card, we received a beautiful gift bag, chock full of reading materials, a book mark, and even a christian music CD...which I have played and did truly enjoy.  Enclosed in the bag was a mini book, written by one of my favorite motivational Authors, Norman Vincent Peale.  The name of the book is "Confidence: DARE TO BE ALL  YOU CAN BE"  I found that alarmingly fitting - since I am at the point in my life where I have absolutely NO idea what ALL I CAN be is, or how to go about being it.  At 44 years old, I suppose I am falling a little behind, and my prayer to God today, is to please help me find my purpose in life, and figure out how, exactly, to BE ALL I CAN BE.   The first chapter in the book is called CONVICTION.  I am going to share the chapter with you now:

"I will be with you, I will not leave you or forget you"  (Joshua 1:5)

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I want to ask you a very personal, but very serious, question.  Do you honestly believe you have a solid confidence in yourself? If you can answer yes with conviction, you have one of the greatest blessing you can get in this world.  If you cant, then I can help you!

Since God created you, it is a given that he has confidence in you.  It has been my experience that people do not break down because they are defeated, but because they THINK they are.  They do not believe in their own possibilities.  You need to trust in the abilities that God has given you. 

Why shouldnt you believe in yourself?  You are a child of God; therefore, you have within you the great powers of God.  Remember God's promise that he will never leave you alone or forget you. 

When you truly believe this, you are on your way to confident living.  You do not have to fight your battles alone.  God is at your side.  He will stand by you and protect you for all your life. 

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The one statement that truly stands out of this for me is "You do not have to fight your battles alone. god is at your side"  When I finished reading the chapter, I sat back and contemplated, "do I turn my battles over to God?" Hah...no - of course I don't.  The truth is, that I rarelly even pray about them.  From time to time, I become diligent for a short period of time, and I journal, or "write to God".  I must have a million journals that I have started over the last 12-13 years.  They are letters, just like I would write to a best friend or a family member, and I would write every day, a summation of the days events, and my prayers for the days to come.  Again, my follow through malfunction comes in to play here....sometimes, I want to say to God...out loud "please dont be offended that I dont write every day...you and I both know my follow through sucks...in every single aspect of my life" .  Truth of the matter is - it is no excuse, and if there is a SINGLE thing that I follow through with, it should, and HAS to be, my relationship with God.  So, with that said....I think it is time to creat my first GOAL. I belive that it is best for me to start with small goals....if I make the goal that I WILL write and pray to God every night indefinitely - I can never MEET that goal...however - If I choose " I will write and pray to God every night for 7 nights straight"...that is in fact an attainable goal.  So - there you have it....Goal number 1.  You will be able to follow my goals and track my progress on my goals page!  You will also be able to follow my prayers in my prayer journal page, and you will see just as I do, the manifestations and how God truly DOES answer prayers!

I digress...hmmm...my thoughts scatter so easily I times I wonder if I am a victim of ADD in some slight manner!  BACK TO MY BATTLES THAT I DONT TURN OVER TO GOD!!!

I'm a pretty self sufficient and strong person.  I have been single for two years now, and I take care of my home, my job, my son, my dog and my two businesses on my own.  I also care for  my 99 year old grandmother - so it's plain to see that my life is certainly busy.  Unfortunately - the strenghth that God has given me, can also be my worst enemy at times.  Instead of  humbling myself and asking my father for his help, I worry endlessly as I search for a solution to my problems. 

C